Grey’s Anatomy 16.06 Episode Review

I love it when Grey’s night and Halloween collide. It hasn’t happened since season 10, and I’ve missed the extra level of weird. Also, if you dressed up as a Grey’s character, I want to see! Reply to my tweet (that most of you probably clicked on to read this) with a picture!

Season 16, Episode 6: Whistlin’ Past the Graveyard
(Written by Julie Wong; Directed by Pete Chatmon)

“Researchers have theroized that nightmares are the brain’s way of processing unsettling events of the past. Others believe nightmares are how our subconscious mind prepares us to deal with our real-life fears. Either way, they agree that nightmares are most commonly brought on by one thing: stress.” – Meredith Grey

Let’s start with Link and Amelia this week. They’re so cute I can hardly stand it. Things have been going surprisingly well for these two lately, so it was time to shake it up a little bit. Enter Link’s parents from hell. These two… whew. They are a lot. And they are very good at making literally everything about them. Not only are they making Link’s “cancer-versary” about them––which Link expected––but now they’ve made the baby’s arrival about them, too. Amazing!

But I actually think this means good things for Amelia and Link as parents. At the beginning of this season, Link talked about being scared of history repeating itself in regards to his childhood cancer. Totally understandable. But I also think maybe there was a little fear of becoming his parents mixed in with that. Growing up with parents who hate each other, I’m sure, takes a huge toll on the kid. Link even says he felt forced to take sides, which would have strained his relationship with both parents. And spending Christmas day on a plane? No way. He wants better for his kid, and I think there’s a voice in the back of his head telling him he won’t be able to do better. And I’m sure that voice gets louder when he’s actually around his parents.

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Image via ABC

Do I think he’s going to parent anything like how he was parented? Absolutely not. Even if things don’t work out between him and Amelia, I have no doubt that those two will raise that kid as a team. (If they don’t work out, I will also be sad.)

Which brings me to my next point: Teddy and Owen being a team. It’s refreshing to see Owen treat the woman he’s with like she’s something other than garbage. Cheers for that! Also, Teddy as a mom? Hilarious and I love it. She is so funny right now, and I think it’s because she’s so clueless about so much when it comes to babies.  I’m kind of waiting for the fallout here because things are going to well for them right now. After seeing the promo for next week’s episode, I have a feeling that things are about to get rough for Owen and Teddy, and probably even Amelia and Link depending on how Amelia handles things.

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Image via ABC

Anyway. Back to Teddy and Owen being good right now. So far, I’ve seen two major Grey’s themes pop up in this episode and they are 1) being afraid of becoming your parent(s), and 2) making Halloween costumes. Remember when Meredith and Derek were adopting Zola, Meredith was listing off reasons she was nervous about being a bad mom? One of them was that she didn’t know how to sew a costume. Now we’ve got Teddy stressing about not having time to make homemade costumes for Leo and Allison. But the zombie babies? Come on! I loved it. And I think I loved it because of how horrified everyone was by it. Teddy tried, you guys! She tried so hard!

And then we’ve got Bailey and all her hormones. Which I find absolutely delightful. She’s so different with this pregnancy than she was with Tuck, and I think that might be freaking her out almost as much as being pregnant again. In season 2, her pregnancy wasn’t much of a storyline. It just kind of was what it was. This time, though, we get to see a lot more of it. Like the fact that she cries over everything now. It’s so unlike the Bailey we all know, which is what makes it so exciting and fun to watch.

And the fact that she’s now got this new trick to try to keep herself from crying? Another layer of comedy. Which, by the way, this technique? It sometimes works. I do it when I’m angry and about to cry. It occasionally helps. Other times, I probably look like this:

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Image via ABC

And the reason Bailey looks like that? It is the same reason I, too, was shoving my tongue against the roof of my mouth. Anytime Tom talks about David (which does not happen often) gets me. I feel like Tom has built up such a wall that he’s trapped himself inside it. And it’s been so long that whatever is inside that wall is his whole world. The stuff outside? The things he’s protecting himself from? They don’t exist anymore. But every once in a while, something manages to sneak in. Something reminds him, and no matter how hard he tries to push it away, that memory works its way back into the front of his mind. Apparently, Halloween is one of those things.

You can see it on his face when he talks about David and the Storm Trooper costume how much he’s hurting. I think this moment between him and Bailey might actually be a stepping stone to the two of them becoming… not friends, but colleagues who can get along. Because now that Bailey knows about this part of Tom’s life, she also knows that the rest of it––the cocky, the arrogance––isn’t his whole personality. In fact, those things may be protecting him from everything else that’s gone wrong in his life. Tom is about as alone as you can be right now. His son is gone, Teddy just rode off into the sunset with Owen, I’m sure he had grown somewhat attached to the idea of Allison and she’s gone… he’s alone. Being an ass at work is a defense mechanism. And he’s good at it. I would love to see a flashback of Tom with David… to get a glimpse of who he used to be.

(Side note: when Tom was describing the Storm Trooper costume and Bailey knows exactly what he’s talking about and even chimes in with “episode 4”? That is how I feel when someone brings up Grey’s. I know exactly what episode you’re talking about before you even finish your thought.)

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Image via ABC

And real quick, before I leave Grey Sloan for this week, I want to talk about Levi. And that sunflower costume he made out of a trauma gown? Stop it right now! But the costume isn’t what I want to talk about. It’s the fact that Levi’s mom told him not to post a picture of him and Nico because his family would see it. Oh. That seems… uh… not great. Remember the “shame spiral” he and Nico talked about when they were brand new? I’m pretty sure it was during the windstorm when they were trapped in that ambulance. Yeah. It seems like Levi’s mom is now the one spiraling. It breaks my heart. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she doesn’t want Levi posting because she doesn’t want their family finding out he’s gay. I’m wondering if maybe she’s accepted it privately, but not publicly. We saw her interact with Nico briefly, but right after Levi tells her Nico is his boyfriend, she leaves. Is she embarrassed to have a gay son? Maybe. I hate it, but I have friends who experienced that with their parents. I have no idea how it’s going to go, but I would like to see Levi and his mom (and maybe even Nico) have a heart-to-heart. I know there are a lot of people watching who would love to see their lives reflected on TV like that… something to make them feel less alone.

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Image via ABC

And now we’re shifting gears and I’m moving over to Pac North. Things are not going so great over there. Shocking, I know. Jo honestly fits right in dressed like a corpse. And her trying to scare Alex? Love it. I especially loved Alex telling her nothing is scarier than his real life. But to be honest, I’m really glad Alex is having so much shit thrown at him this season. The character growth in him is astonishing. If it were Bailey or Webber having to deal with this, nobody would be surprised when they handled it. But Alex? We’ve never seen him in a position of this much authority. He’s being thrown every curveball possible, and he’s working at what I feel like is possibly the worst hospital to ever exist, and he’s handling everything so well. 

In this episode, he’s dealing with a literal graveyard. Only this show, you guys. And Webber’s reaction? Also classic. He didn’t even seem surprised. Just kind of shrugged it off like, “yeah that explains a lot.” You know it’s bad when a mass grave makes things make sense.

And we even got a vampire wedding! Twilight is quaking. I kind of expected this to happen when Jo walked out in her wedding dress, to be honest. Alex got this look on his face, and I just knew it was coming. What I didn’t see coming? The word “pregnant” to come out of Jo’s mouth. I gasped. And then I felt like a fool. Because why would the one couple everyone wants to have a baby be included in this pregnancy outbreak? That’s not how things work on Grey’s. We all should know better by now! I did, however, laugh after I got over the initial irritation. That definitely felt like a little way of poking fun at everyone having babies this season.

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Image via ABC

And what about the whole Meredith Grey going to jail thing? Yeah, that. Maybe I should start talking about it now. First of all, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to find a red prison jumpsuit for Halloween this year. I didn’t have enough time, though, so I stuck with the scrubs. Disappointing, but what can you do? Anyway. Meredith Grey went to jail. It actually happened. And you know what? I’m glad it did. She deserved it. I’ve talked about why I feel that way in other reviews, so I’m not going to get into it much here, but I will say this about it: I think this little stint in jail was good for her. She’s now faced consequences like she never has before, and moving forward, she (hopefully) won’t make the same mistakes.

Even while she sat in a jail cell, though, Meredith was still privileged in ways other people could only dream of being. Take her cellmate, Paula, for example. She chose to leave her two kids at home alone (while they slept!) so that she could go to work. If she didn’t go to work, that’s money lost. She needs that money to provide for her kids. It’s an impossible decision, but one so many people have to make all the time. And now she’s sitting in jail, unable to afford bail, while her kids are in foster care and she waits for a hearing. With a public defendant. Things do not look good for her. Meanwhile, Meredith is sitting there complaining about her medical license being up for review. Read the room, Mer.

Also, just real quick, did anyone else get a little panicky when Paula said Mer’s snoring sounded like a semi barreling towards her? Or was that just me? 1121 really messed me up, you guys.

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Image via ABC

Things for Andrew and the kids aren’t so hot, either. Especially Zola. She had a rough Halloween this year, didn’t she? I love that she’s old enough now to have actual storylines, and this is a big one. The wings were my first clue of what was to come. As soon as I saw them, I knew Derek would come up a lot. I’m actually really glad she showed some hostility towards Andrew, to be honest. Not because I don’t love him, because I do. But because it would have been wildly unrealistic to have her just be totally okay with things. She’s old enough to understand what’s going on between him and her mom. And she was young when Derek died. I can’t even begin to make sense of the timeline in the Grey’s universe, but I’m guessing she was between 4 and 5, so the memories she has of him? Probably already fading a little. That has to be terrifying for her.

I actually think a scene between Amelia and Zola talking about that would be amazing.  Amelia was five-ish when her dad died, so that’s something they have in common. Plus, we never really see them interact with each other. I think that could be a really powerful scene about a child’s grief and how that grief evolves as they grow. Because it isn’t ever going to go away.

Anyway. Back to Zola and Andrew. Sometime last season, Meredith asked Andrew if he even liked kids. That conversation ended with him telling her that her only problem would be her kids liking him more than they like her. Well, that’s clearly not the case with Zola right now. Andrew is not used to kids not liking him, so this is probably throwing him for a loop. Not that he didn’t expect it, I’m sure he did. But expecting something to happen and it actually happening are two very different things. He’s never dealt with this before, and neither has Zola. They’re both new at navigating this kind of relationship.

It’s Jackson who gives Andrew the advice he needs. Which was kind of surprising, actually. It makes me wonder where he got that from. Probably his own experiences with his dad leaving? If Catherine dated after his dad walked out, he probably went through emotions similar to what Zola’s feeling right now. Jackson tells Andrew that kids always have a reason for acting a certain way and that it’s just a matter of figuring out how to get it out of them. He did it with their patient by acting like Alex (which was so pure, by the way!) and now Andrew has to do it with Zola.

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Image via ABC

“I don’t want to forget him.” – Zola Grey-Shepherd

And there it is. She’s terrified she’s going to forget her dad. It broke my heart. I saw a lot of people on Twitter getting really mad over the fact that she and Andrew had this moment in the OR gallery. And I don’t understand it one bit. They needed to have this conversation. Andrew needed to reassure Zola that he’s not there to replace Derek and to help her remember him. He told Zola the story of Isaac’s tumor (also very pure) and it helped, I think. Probably not a lot, but it was something. Andrew didn’t even know Derek, but he still gave Zola what he had to give her. He’s trying.

I think this moment between Zola and Andrew was absolutely needed. Zola’s been asking Meredith about finding love again and getting remarried for several seasons now, but it never happened. Now it is. Even if it’s something she wants for her mom, that doesn’t make it easy for her. And I’m sure it’ll get harder if things between Andrew and Meredith ever start to get serious. Because while Andrew is not there to replace Derek in any way, he will become a father-figure to those kids. Bailey probably doesn’t remember Derek at all, Ellis wasn’t even born before he died, so Zola’s really alone in this. It sucks and it makes me want to hug her forever.

And this raises another point. Zola and Meredith need to have a conversation. And I think it needs to be just the two of them. Like I said, Bailey and Ellis are young enough that they aren’t in the same position as Zola. This transition isn’t going to be as rough for them. Zola needs reassurance from Meredith that Derek isn’t going to disappear, that he’s always going to be her dad. She can’t get that from Andrew because he didn’t know Derek. He didn’t love Derek completely and then lose him. Zola and Meredith did. Meredith knows what it’s like to make room for someone new, and Zola needs to know it’s possible for her, too. She needs to see that it’s possible for her to love her dad and miss him while also having Andrew there and stepping into a new role. That’s the kind of reassurance and comfort nobody can offer Zola except for Meredith. And I hope she gets it.

I’ve got a few more things to say about Meredith before I wrap this one up. People aren’t mad at her and disciplining her for what she was trying to repair. Nobody thinks she was wrong for that. Even the jail guard told her to “keep fighting the good fight” as she was leaving. The issue she was trying to tackle is an issue everyone (with a heart) agrees on. The medical system is broken and insurance is too hard to obtain. It’s ridiculous. What they’re mad at her for and why she’s being punished is because of how she handled everything. I’ve been saying it for months. And I think she’s finally fully realized it, too. Thank God. I think maybe her conversation with Paula kind of woke her up a little bit. She realized how much she had going for her, how much privilege she has, and that she acted like the rules didn’t apply to her. I think if a judge were to ask her if she regrets what she did, her answer would be different now. Maybe something more along the lines of, “I regret how I approached the situation, but I don’t regret trying to fix something that’s so broken.”

xoxo, J

Music from 16.06:

Bigger Than Us – Hudson Thames
Castles – Freya Ridings
How You Like Me Now – Taki Waki

“Sometimes your worst nightmare comes true, but you find it’s really nothing to worry about. Occasionally you discover that what you most dread is really a blessing. And your life is better because you persevered despite your fears. But sometimes, your worst nightmare is truly scary. And it feels like it’s never going to end. That’s when support from friends and family is vital. You want to surround yourself with people who will wake you up from your nightmares and help you live your wildest dreams.” – Meredith Grey

 

 

Grey’s Anatomy 16.05 Episode Review

First of all, let me just say that anytime Elisabeth Finch writes an episode, I am guaranteed to cry. Every. Damn. Time. This episode wasn’t any different.

Season 16, Episode 5: Breathe Again (written by Elisabeth Finch; directed by Chandra Wilson)

“Some of the world’s top trauma specalists have proven that our brains may forget the tramas we survive, but our bodies, especially our nervous systems, always keep score. Memories are stored in our shoulders, spines, stomach, or hands, without us ever knowing. We assume a painful backache or a shaky hand is something harmless, random. But it could be more. It might be our bodies reminding us of what we’ve endured and warning us not to let it happen again.” – Meredith Grey

So, what’s life throwing at our favorite TV doctors now? Well, uh, lots. Babies, jail time, therapists who try to kill themselves but actually no they don’t… there is a lot happening. Let’s get going.

I want to talk about Jo first. We see her in two very different places in this episode. I actually think watching these two opposing times in Jo’s life simultaneously like this really helped bring attention to the drastic change she’s been able to make for herself. When we go several episodes, or sometimes even a hiatus, between something traumatic happening to a character and them starting to heal, the process may be overlooked. It seems like magic. Clap your hands and boom, they’re better. In this case, we’re seeing Jo at rock bottom and we’re seeing her get back on top. But we’re also seeing her fight to climb out.

When she found out about her parents last season, she was in the darkest place we’ve ever seen her. And instead of skipping over the hard parts, we get to watch her claw her way back. We’ve seen it a little from other characters––Owen’s N.E.T therapy last season, Bailey’s therapy for OCD, and Meredith with Dr. Wyatt in season 4––but never to this extent.

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Image via ABC

I can’t even begin to imagine how Jo felt when she saw Carly, her therapist, hooked up to a ventilator after an assumed suicide attempt. I’m not surprised at all that she went into that hypobaric chamber, though. In therapy, Jo’s safe space was in an OR, so maybe she felt like bringing Carly to her safe space (albeit this is not an OR… close enough) would save her. I don’t know what was going on inside her head, but that seems like a pretty good guess to me. So now Jo’s sitting there and watching the woman who helped her pull herself out of a really dark time have air forced into her lungs by a machine. Questioning her own ability to keep going when her therapist quit is not a big leap for her mind to make. Even though it’s revealed that Carly didn’t try to commit suicide, that idea of a therapist needing help is something I want to see more of on TV. (It’s also why that’s a major plot point in the pilot I’m currently writing. I had to plug myself there. Couldn’t resist.)

But let’s talk about the actual therapy sessions we see in this episode. First of all, I had never heard of EMDR before. I did a little bit of research on it before I sat down to write this, and I totally get why 1) Jo’s pissed at the lightbar, and 2) why this form of therapy would have been extremely beneficial for her. Carly tells Jo that they want to work to move beyond her “capital T Traumas” and Jo’s pretty dead set against having any. Which, girl. She’s got a lot of stuff to work through, and at first, she’s resistant to even admit they’re things. She’s sought the help, but it kind of seems like maybe she was having trouble admitting that these things that happened to her are things worthy of needing help to work through. Maybe she thinks other people have had it worse, and because of that, she shouldn’t need any help. It isn’t true, of course, but I think maybe that’s where her head was at. And I can absolutely relate. I’ve been there.

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Image via ABC

Jo hasn’t let herself feel angry at anybody. Except for herself for not being angry at anyone else. That’s why Carly damn near throws a party when Jo walks into her office pissed as hell. For so long, Jo’s been pushing that anger down and covering it up with shame (which she named as a core feeling) and feeling helpless.

It probably doesn’t make any sense to Jo that she can feel angry at her mother. Maybe she thinks if she lets herself feel the anger, she’d also feel guilty because she now knows that her mother was put into an impossible situation and was hurt about as badly as a person can be hurt. But Carly points out that while her brain may not remember what it felt like when her mom pulled away from her, her body does. When she was in that diner, Jo’s body felt the same thing it did when she was 5 days old: the person who is supposed to love you more than anything in the world abandoning you. Twice. That’s where the anger comes from. That feeling that her body will never forget.

So now she’s finally letting herself feel the anger and that’s when the breakthrough happens. She’s been scared to be angry before now because all she knows is the kind of anger that ends with broken ribs and punctured kidneys. Healthy anger isn’t something she’s familiar with. And once she lets herself feel that anger––at her mother, at her father, at Paul––she can finally start to move past it.

Which brings me back to the hospital and inside the hypobaric chamber. Jo probably felt pretty unstoppable when she came back to work. She went and did what she needed to do and now she’s in a better place than she has been in a long time. Even while she’s dealing with seeing her therapist in this condition, she’s able to help Bailey, who’s also freaking out over having a new baby. (Which, can you blame her? She’s about to send one kid off to college and all of a sudden, she’s got start from the beginning and do it all over again? Whew. No thanks.)  I loved seeing Bailey and Jo interact like this. One, it shows the tremendous growth in Jo, but also lets us see a more vulnerable side of Bailey that doesn’t come out all that often.

Bailey’s listing off all of these feelings coursing through her. There’s happiness, excitement, love, and probably a little bit of awe mixed in there somewhere. And then she gets to terrified. And she says “but” instead of “and.” And Jo’s response is possibly my favorite thing she’s ever said on the show:

“And terrified. It’s a therapy thing. You listed all of these positive feelings and then you said “but” as if being terrified erased everything that you said prior. But the happy, the terror, it’s all there.” – Jo Karev

Bailey
Image via ABC

I had never thought about that before. I say “but” all the time. Don’t you love it when something that happens in a show makes you think, “oh wait, I should maybe stop doing that”? Feelings can contradict each other and still exist at the same time. It’s something I knew but not something I ever really noticed in my own head, if that makes any sense. Like, take this for example: when I write something new, I always get excited about it. And it also always scares me to share it. See there? I said, “and.” Except, a lot of the time, I use a “but” instead and then I never share whatever it is that I wrote––a poem, a story, a script––with anyone. It’s not the same as what Bailey is going through at all, but I still saw a little bit of myself in her. It reassured me that I’m not the only one who shoves the happy and excited down and covers it up with the terror.

And I think Jo used this tactic in this episode, too. I’m sure she was feeling terrified when Carly showed up. And then she started using what she learned from Carly to calm herself down. There was the terrified and the control and she felt both at the same time.

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Image via ABC

And just real quick, since I already talked about Bailey a little, can we PLEASE talk about how pure Ben’s reaction was? This storyline is wild to me, and I’m honestly shocked it’s happening, BUT his reaction makes it hard not to be excited about it now. I also think there’s a huge comedy potential with this, which I think I said last week, too. I still believe that. I can’t wait to see Tuck’s face when he finds out. I’m also interested to see how this news impacts Ben at work, which I’m sure we’ll get to see when Station 19 comes back on in approximately 100 years.

You know who else has been gone for 100 years? Catherine Fox. And Richard is entering dangerous territory that I am NOT here for. I love Richard Webber and I’m sure you all know that. But the man does not have the best track record with wives. And now Gemma is buying him stacks of pancakes and offering to have an affair like someone offers you a piece of gum. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but it’s also exactly that. To be fair, he does totally call Gemma out and even tells her to get to a meeting, but I’m still worried about his marriage. I wonder if we’re in for A Different World battle? That could be entertaining, not going to lie.

Richard
Image via ABC

But there is something Gemma said that I think is worth digging into a little bit. I’m sure she meant this as a jab to him as a husband, but I think it’s actually a lot more than that, and it’s something Richard needs to evaluate about himself. Gemma tells him that when things get tough, he either finds comfort in a bottle of vodka or another woman. And you know what? She’s not wrong. I hate to say anything bad about him because he’s like my generation’s TV grandpa, but… we all have things.

We never got to see the beginning of his affair with Ellis, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say the stress of being the only black resident in his class paired with Ellis’s stress over being the only female resident in her class made for some pretty intense… um… feelings? They were both the outliers, so it’s pretty natural to assume they’d become friendly. Very friendly. So, uh, yeah. And then Adele gets Alzheimer’s which would be stressful enough on its own, but I’m sure that reminded him of Ellis, which added to the stress. And in walks Catherine. (I swear, if she starts showing any signs of any kind of dementia…) Richard’s track record with stress and affairs is pretty consistent… and not in a good way.

But I also think Richard is more stable right now than he has been in a while, so I’m worried but not super worried. Plus, I have no doubt Catherine would put him right back in his place if he tried anything.

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I saved Meredith’s stuff for last this time. And she’s got a lot of stuff. Last week, I was as annoyed with her as I ever have been, but this week? I just wanted to give her a hug. She cannot catch a break. This is the first time this season she’s skipped something and I wasn’t ready to shake her.

So, Zola needs another surgery. I’ve been waiting for this to happen since, like, season 11. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when. And why not make it at the most inconvenient time for Mer? Not that there’s ever a good time for your kid to need brain surgery, but you get my point. And then Andrew, poor guy, tried to get Meredith to go to court. Not the move, man. His reasoning was sweet, don’t get me wrong, but like, we all knew there was no way in hell Mer was leaving that hospital. He obviously tells her to go to court because he doesn’t want her getting into any more trouble than she’s already managed to get herself into, but also because he knows that the odds are in Zola’s favor. If he thought something was going to go wrong, he never would’ve brought it up. And also, he very well may have been thinking about after Zola’s surgery. Which we now know Meredith likely won’t be there for.

Mer and Zola
Image via ABC

And then, because he’s Andrew and he’s an angel, he offers to sit with her instead of going into surgery. Ugh. I love him. I was not surprised at all when Meredith told him to go with Zola, though. She knew she’d have Amelia and Maggie and she wanted Zola to have somebody familiar with her. If you ask me, that right there proves what Mer’s feelings are. But she’s fighting them like hell. I expect nothing less from her.

While Zola is in surgery, Meredith goes full dark and twisty mode. Again, not surprised. Remember how last week I said Andrew was the only one in self-preservation mode? Yeah, not anymore. Meredith is trying so hard to convince herself (and everyone else) that she isn’t as in love with Andrew as she actually is. That little rant about him being sexy and fun but maybe nothing more? Nope. Don’t believe that even for a second. I think she’s terrified of how much she wants him to be more than that. She could use some of Jo’s therapy techniques right about now.

“Have you seen my life? The people that I’ve lost?” – Meredith Grey

Not admitting to her feelings and how strong they are is her way of protecting herself.  It’s not logical, but feelings rarely are. She allowed herself to love Derek with her whole heart. And then she lost him and it almost broke her. Now she’s scared to really jump in with Andrew because she’s scared of facing that kind of loss again. Allowing herself to feel that kind of love means opening herself up to even more heartbreak. And that right there is why I think love is actually kind of terrifying. Because somebody is going to get hurt. Someone’s heart is going to break. And in this case, there’s a 50 percent chance it’s going to Meredith’s. I think the battle she’s having with herself right now is this: is having that feeling again worth the inevitable pain?

 

And Andrew is frustrated with her, not only because of all the work crew stuff but also because she’s so stubborn when it comes to their relationship. Andrew is no stranger to being heartbroken. Remember Sam? She literally moved to Switzerland to avoid being deported. But before that happened, he straight up said they weren’t good for each other. And he also knows she’s off in Europe working for Cristina Yang and doing great. He’s never lost someone he loves the way Meredith lost Derek. And he’s never loved someone the way Meredith loves her kids. Those are big things. And they’re things Andrew has no way of understanding. It’s nobody’s fault. But it’s also the thing holding Meredith back more than anything else.

I’m kind of waiting for this all to click for Andrew. Or, you know what, I can totally see Maggie and Amelia getting involved and telling Andrew what’s going on in Meredith’s head. He never knew Derek, he showed up after the episode that ruined my life, so he never saw them together. And he didn’t know Meredith well enough to recognize how badly she was hurting. I’m not sure that he realizes she’s terrified of love because she’s so used to having it ripped from her.

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Image via ABC

Speaking of Maggie and Amelia, there’s some stuff I want to bring up about both of them, too. When they were all waiting on Zola to get out of surgery, Maggie announces that her truest love might be surgery. I think that might be true. Right now. But you know what I think needs to happen with her? I think she needs to remember why she loves herself. There’s a speech Cristina gave to Owen sometime around season 5 about how Burke took pieces of her, and how she couldn’t let that happen again. I think that’s where Maggie is. When she was with Jackson, she let him chip away at her. It wasn’t huge things, but they added up, and suddenly she didn’t recognize herself anymore. She became a version of herself Jackson could love… but in the process lost the version of herself that she loved. And that right there is why those two were not going to work. (And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to prepare myself for the DMs I’m going to get because of everything I just said.)

I want love for Maggie. I don’t want her to just have work and sisters and nieces and nephews. I think she’ll find it, but in the meantime, I’m not mad about watching her fall in love with her work and hopefully find herself again in the process.

And then there’s Amelia. This has been my favorite season for her by a landslide. She’s actually one of my favorites right now. She’s recognizing that she just jumps right into things and crosses her fingers that they turn out well, but she’s not beating herself up for it. If anything, she’s embracing it. Especially when it comes to Link and the baby. It’s weird seeing her so calm about such a drastic, life-altering thing. In the past, she’d turn to drugs or flee the state. Now though, she’s just letting things happen and preparing herself to learn something if it goes wrong. I think that seems like a pretty good way to live your life.

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Image via ABC

Okay, back to Meredith’s stuff. Which now apparently includes jail time. Last week, I thought she deserved everything she got handed. She left work crew early to deal with something that could have waited so she got summoned to court. She deserved that. But this? Skipping court because your daughter’s having brain surgery? Not unreasonable. I imagine that Meredith would not be spending any time in jail had she made it to court in this episode. Do I think she deserves to spend a few hours in jail? I mean, yeah. But not because she missed court to stay with Zola. It’s for everything else she’s done in the past several episodes. Meredith Grey is not above the rules, and now she’s facing the consequences. Does it suck? Yeah. Is it the end of the world? No. She could’ve been put in jail from the beginning. She got herself into this mess. And, if she does what she’s supposed to, it could be over soon.

Also, one more thing that I want to talk about because I think it’s so funny. Helm is literally a Meredith Grey fangirl and I love her for it. First, she gets giddy that Meredith gave her her cellphone number. Then she uses no less than 15 emojis while updating her on Zola’s surgery. Then she comes into the lounge after the surgery is over and expects a hug. Did you notice Maggie in the background during that part? She was cracking up. Same. I feel like Helm is a real-life fan who somehow made her way into Grey Sloan. It’s amazing.


I’m adding something new to these reviews. I’m going to start linking you guys to the music from each episode now. I’m going to go back through the other season 16 reviews and add the music, so you can go check those out if you need to update a playlist!

Music from 16.05:

Explaining to Do – Trent Dabbs (not on Spotify)
Little Bit of Lovin’ – Elle King
Silhouette – Unions
Need You Now – Dean Lewis

“Trauma doesn’t tell time. It can’t tell if we’re eight or forty-one. If our kids have the chicken pox or if we have the biggest surgeries of our lives to prepare for. And when it sneaks up on us, it’s easy to think we’re right back at square one. But the truth is, even when our brain convices us we’re lost, if we try hard enough, our bodies remind us there’s a way back and prepares us for whatever fight lies ahead.” – Meredith Grey

xoxo J

Grey’s Anatomy 14.07 Episode Review

Season 14, episode 7: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story
(Written by Krista Vernoff; Directed by Debbie Allen)

You guys. I really had to sit on this review longer than I would’ve liked simply because I was SOOOOOO emotional. And for the first time in Grey’s Anatomy history, it wasn’t because I was sad. I was over the moon happy. This may be the most satisfying episode of Grey’s ever. Seriously.  Continue reading Grey’s Anatomy 14.07 Episode Review

Grey’s Anatomy 14.06 Episode Review

Season 14, episode 6: Come on Down to My Boat, Baby
(Written by: Kiley Donovan; Directed by: Lisa Leone)

This episode invoked a lot of feelings in people that I wasn’t prepared for, and it wasn’t something that was at the forefront of this episode, so I’m not sure how much time I’ll spend on it, but I will definitely mention some things. Here we go! Continue reading Grey’s Anatomy 14.06 Episode Review